A Definitive Guide to Doing The Opposite (January 4, 2015)
ever wonder what to do? easy. the opposite.
In our year-end blog review, we explained that the best move on New Year’s Eve is to stay in.
New Year’s Eve celebrations consist of nothing but the Junior Varsity crowd getting sloppy drunk at overpriced venues for $300 a head.
It is a waste of time. This has been a consistent theme on this blog - “do the opposite” - and we’re going to go through a large number of examples below. From small to large.
Table of Contents
Small Examples
Tipping At Restaurants
Greasing the Bouncer
Pay Cash
Maximizing Your Looks
Showing up Early
Conclusions
Intermediate Examples
Impress Only Those Who Matter
Consistently Cut Your Contacts Down
Buy Items For Yourself Only
Find *Legitimate Mentors
Learn in Your 20s, Earn in Your 30s
Conclusions
Advanced Examples
Who You Are Determines Your Net Worth
Money is Time
Build Rich Alliances
Go For Real Money
Live Well Below Your Means
Conclusions
Elite Tip to Do the Opposite
Small Examples
Tipping at Restaurants
If you’re new in town and want to find a good date venue then you should try a few restaurants… Solo.
Most people are too insecure to do this and will unlikely read past the sentence we just wrote.
If you’ve passed that piece and are willing to do so…
**Here’s the trick: Tip before service.**
Everyone sits around waiting for the check to come to throw in their “double the tax” tip and never thinks about trying to have an “image” at the restaurant.
Do **the opposite**.
Throw down a 40% tip before you even start eating
joke with the waiter (note: not waitress since she will think you are hitting on her) that you are making sure he doesn’t blow you up when you bring dates in next time.
He won’t know if you’re joking about this or if you’re using self-deprecating humor. You’ll show up with a date next time of course.
Greasing the Bouncer
If you know of a few popular venues that have the type of women you like, then it makes sense to develop an “image” at the club (notice a trend?).
This will range from the bouncers to the bartenders to the actual club/bar owner.
**Here’s the trick: Grease the bouncer when you leave.**
Everyone else tries to grease the bouncer $20 just to get into the door with 2-3 other “bros” and ruin the club environment inside.
Do not do this.
If you are new in town, show up solo and have a good time.
Develop rapport with the door guy a couple of times during the night on small breaks chatting with him and other girls in the area.
When the night is winding down tell him it was great to meet him (use his name of course) and slip him some cash on your way into a cab/uber.
While obvious, it's worth noting - pick a few favorite venues, become a regular, and build a good image there. These strategies are useless if you're always at a new place.
Pay Cash
This is an obvious one to the long-term readers of this blog.
If you’re running around trying to pay for bar/dinner tabs with credit cards to earn 1-2% reward dollar points you’re losing out big time.
The biggest error when it comes to nighttime fun is losing momentum.
When you pay with credit cards you’re doing just that… stopping the flow.
There is nothing worse than running your newly improved game and watching the bartender/waiter fiddle around for 10-15 minutes trying to find your card mixed in with the masses.
Not to mention… You can’t even establish that you’re a solid tipper.
Waiting in the queue for the next round of drinks is a foolish move.
Maximizing Your Looks
Most guys think that it is not manly to evaluate your looks.
These are the same people you’ll see wearing crew neck T-shirts and Air Jordans out in public. Their loss.
You don’t have to dress to kill 24/7/365 since you may be bogged down with work and staying in for the night. But. If you’re going to try and meet people you need to dress to impress.
In addition, it would be smart to learn some basics about photography. Take a look at the video below:
Now, you don’t have to watch four hundred videos like this but do some basic searches on YouTube and find a set of 10-15 tips to improve your looks.
This can include basic photography like the video above (simply search for headshot photos for men) or it can include style of dress (just search for colors for men by skin tone).
When people see photos of you it’s nice to know that you’re looking slightly better due to 30 minutes of basic research.
Besides, any girl you date is going to show your photo to her girlfriends and say:
> “do you think he’s cute?”
If you don’t believe this then why is Tinder such a popular dating app? Enough said.
Showing up Early
Under no circumstances should you set up a meeting and show up late. This includes
dates
interviews
meet-ups with friends
It is common advice that you should “make people wait” for your "amazing presence". This is complete nonsense.
If you show up early to any venue you’re going to have the first crack at impressing anyone in sight.
Besides. If you’re willing to show up late to meet person X, you should just cancel the meeting. You don’t think they are important anyway.
Small Example Conclusions
Notice that all the “small examples of doing the opposite” pertain to basic social skills and dating/acquaintances.
This is because the lowest item on the priority list is acquaintances and random women at the club. That said, it is also the easiest to fix.
So, if you don’t believe anything on here, try the tricks above and you’ll see they work.
leave a nice tip before service and the waiter will remember you
tip after you leave the club, the bouncer won’t forget you
pay cash to make friends with the staff – notice all three of these will cost money but create valuable contacts
evaluate your looks every year
show up early or find someone else of value
WSPArchive: The advice works.
Intermediate Examples
Impress Only Those Who Matter
Most people try to please everyone. That is a recipe for disaster because most people are not worth impressing in the first place. Do the opposite.
Before you bother trying to build a relationship… do some basic background work and find out if they are worth the time.
If they are worth the time, go all in.
Twitter is a great example of this because we have weirdos and losers who @ message us to explain they are “un-following” the advice from both the main blog and Twitter microblog.
Who cares.
If you want a clearer example of losers, just look at the garbage people who got upset by Mike’s “offensive tweets”.
In fact, every single time this happens our Twitter and blog followers grow because we lose the bad readers and obtain the good ones.
A good problem to have. It is great to polarize people.
Consistently Cut Your Contacts Down
Part of the annual process of elimination is deleting useless contacts from your phone. This is done to prevent unnecessary emotional attachment to old friends.
Just because someone has been your friend for 5-10 years does not mean they get a free pass to suddenly complain all day and waste your time.
Most people believe that history is a good reason to keep a toxic friend. They are dead wrong. Do the opposite.
As you get older and your friends go through ups and downs the ones that stand the test of time always ask the right questions to get back on their feet.
Average people are going to read the paragraphs above and think it means:
”When your friend is down you leave him!”
No.
When your friend is down you give him access to all the *tools* you have to get his ducks in a row. If he continues to spam you to “borrow money” (see: give him money) then you need to re-evaluate the friendship.
The long-term friends you have (15+ years) will end up going through bad years.
Your job is to find ways to help them based on their unique skillset.
Finally, when you hit a rough spot (and you will) it is your job to communicate what your skills are so your friends can help you find a solid career down the line.
Buy Items For Yourself Only
Most people buy items to impress other people. This is another recipe for disaster. Do the opposite.
Everyone has interests (sports, cars, clothes, drinking, traveling, etc.) however these interests should be yours and yours only.
Go out and try hundreds of activities and find out which ones you actually enjoy. You’ll be surprised.
The vast majority of people *say* they don’t care about the opinions of other people. But. Look at what they *do*.
If they have to consistently announce to the world that they do not care about the opinions of others… Then, of course, they care… *A lot*.
So do the opposite, do the opposite, do the opposite.
If you are going to spend some money on a material item?
Great, buy it for yourself only.
If you are going to buy something for a friend?
Great, don’t buy it because you are trying to coax them into something. Just give it to them and move on because it is what you wanted to do in the first place.
If you want to use social media?
Great, share your genuine thoughts instead of a fabricated one to seek validation. And. Do not look at the number of likes.
If you want to set a new goal?
Great, don't tell anyone.
As we’ve stated numerous times in the past, money is to be spent on 1) making more money or 2) making you happier long-term. That is all.
Find *Legitimate* Mentors
“Legitimate” in this title is extremely important.
What is the difference between a legitimate and illegitimate mentor?
Easy. He is investing in you.
What does this mean?
He invests real time into your success.
This does not mean he should be holding your hand through every single step of a process, instead - it means that the mentor is actively engaged in your life.
Not a Mentor Example: Someone you listen to every single step of the way is not a mentor. That is you following the directions of someone in front of you.
That only has value if you have no working knowledge of the topic. It does not have value long-term.
Mentor Example: A person that is constantly trying to improve will eventually hit a decision point. Instead of running with his instinct, he calls up a few trusted mentors to gather ideas on what direction to go in.
That is *extremely different* from someone simply saying “Do X”.
In short?
Everyone else wants a hand-holding experience through everything in life.
They want the answers in a “step-by-step” form at all times. You will never succeed this way.
While it is great to have a general map or blueprint, no one is going to actually execute the steps for you.
Learn in Your 20s, Earn in Your 30s
As you can see from the previous examples above, the intermediate examples surround friends and contacts. Generally, this is what most people in their 20s are trying to improve upon.
There is just one problem.
Most people believe that partying and chasing girls until 3 in the morning four nights a week is how you “meet new people”.
They even go out and try to run “game” in packs of dudes on the weekend.. during the day! This is wrong.
Think about the people you meet in these environments and you’ll realize that you’re clearly violating rule number 1 by not having a solid screening system.
If they are not worth your time, go to the tried and tested move to get rid of them: Smile, Nod and Agree. After this, delete them from your contacts.
Finally, this does not mean that you should become a boring frugal monk, it means that you need to learn to have balance.
In *our* view this is going out *twice* per week.
Thursday and Saturday since:
Thursday will have younger more attractive women
Saturday is by far the easiest night to meet women.
Again, no need to simply believe this model. Try it yourself and report back.
On that note, if you are still running around getting blackout drunk then this one is for you…
Intermediate Example Conclusions
As you can see from above, doing the opposite is going to save you a lot of hassle in life. You’re not going to respond to ridiculous drunk messages from that “one really cool guy” at 2 in the morning every Saturday.
You are going to be “true to yourself” (as cheesy as that sounds) and find activities you personally enjoy.
Only impress solid people – winners in life
Cut down your contacts if you make a bad choice – you will make several
Buy material items that make you happy – not in any way used to impress the masses
Find a couple of high-quality people that are willing to invest time in you
Build skills in your twenties, not damaged livers and childish hookup stories.
You will have enough sex and fun if you strike a balance.
Now, onto the real meat of the post:
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